The post “That night I decided to cut my wrist!” – A YPG story appeared first on St. Lucia News Online.
PRESS RELEASE – My suffering started when I was abandoned by my father. He left the house when I was a child and he never came back.
Because of that misery, poverty started to surround my life, bills started to pile up and my mother couldn’t pay it and I was left alone.
One day I woke and I saw a little boy sitting on my bed. He looked cool and I took him as my friend. I used to see him every day, in the kitchen, in the yard, in the living room and in the bathroom. I was just six years old and I thought it was ok to have a friend, but I never knew it wasn’t ok to have an imaginary friend.
I tried to show him to my mother but she couldn’t see him, just me. He used to tell me to steal, to be disobedient to my mother and do all kinds of wrong things. My behaviour changed but my mother thought it was just children’s behaviour.
When I was 15 years old, I learned how to drink; my friends at school introduced me to beers and rum. I was a good student at school and I got good grades but I used to drink and get drunk. I was trying to be a big woman. This addiction led me to fight at school. I was always in trouble with my friends.
At home, whatever my mother told me to do I used to do the opposite. I was always disobedient. I use to go to parties and try to enjoy life. There, I was always smiling but when I reach home I was feeling empty and sad. I was faking to be happy. My mother used to give me curfew, so when I wanted to go to parties I lied to her, saying I was going to my friend’s house. In this way I could go to the parties without being worried about the time to go back home.
One day I tried to run away from home but my mother found me and beat me. I used to give my mother a lot of trouble. I was that kind of daughter that made their mother go crazy sometimes because of my bad behaviour.
As I got older, all of a sudden I started to feel sick. The feeling was so unbearable that I thought I could die. Once I started having these thoughts, I put in my mind that I should enjoy life to the fullest. I started to go to other Caribbean islands, trying to enjoy the carnival and forget my problems. When my friends used to invite me to go places, I used to go with them, and I used to say to myself: “As I will die, I will live my life to the fullest!”
I was abused when I was younger. Those were the most terrible days of my life. He use to buy snacks to try to keep me quiet. I was fed up of that situation, and because of that, I started to have rage against men and even against my father. I started to disrespect him. I wanted to die; I was always having suicidal thoughts.
At the age of 17, the suicidal thoughts reached to the point where I started to cut my wrist. I used to take blades and knifes to mutilate myself. I climbed the cliff of a hospital in Dennery and I jumped. I ended up having scratches and bruises all over my body. When I woke up I was in the hospital.
In form 3, I started to get sick and no doctor could find the reason why it was happening; no medication was helping me and nobody understood me. To them, I was mad. But they never knew I was having spiritual attacks.
I heard about the YPG (Youth Power Group), but my mind was not in that but in parties and friendships.
My mother and friends always tried to tell me that the YPG could help me and I tried to resist, until one day I joined the YPG. I still gave them a hard time and tried to live my own life, but they still did not give up on me.
Today makes it four years I am a part of the YPG and I am happy.
Today I have real peace; I don’t have the desire to die, but to live. I love my mother and I am obedient to her. I decided to change my life and I gave it to the fullest, not to the world, but to God.
I overcame the traumas of the abuse that I faced when I was younger and I am helping others to overcome theirs. – Anel James
N.B: The YPG is a non-profitable organization with the aim of changing young people’s life. The youths from the YPG have a lot to say when it comes to pain. Truth and reality unfolds in our meetings, made by young people to young people. Every week, different topics that will open your eyes to the truth and help you direct your life on the right path.
The destination of your life is in your hands! If you want to know more about the YPG, contact us on:
YPG HELP LINE: 724-8130 / 724-8041
YPG Whatsapp: 730-4040 / 730-2043
Saint Lucia’s biggest youth network, offering a range of activities and practical advice to help young people become successful adults.
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